After almost five years and many more hours than I care to disclose, I have finally achieved billionaire status in Grand Theft Auto Online. Soon, I'll be taking over Bleeter and exercise total control over my own popularity--imagine that! Wait. On second thought, maybe I don't want all that drama or a herd of incessantly bleeting followers? Instead, I should abandon my Master Penthouse and transport my insanely rich ass to the Grand Senora Desert. By God, I mean by Kraff, I'm starting to drool, sweat, and quiver just thinking about it. I could buy my own personal trailer park, drink copious amounts of Pisswasser, hunt peyote, and start conspiracies about UFO's and jetpacks and shit. Whatever I choose, I'm sure my new found virtual riches will positively affect my virtual credit score at the Maze Bank. And, after posting this online it may even boost my government-mandated, top-secret, American Social Score(ASS). You know, the score that no one dares talk about. Anyway, I'm gonna be digitally famous just like that Lazlow guy! Man, I hope Rockstar keeps backups because forever I don't think that I could go back to being a broke-ass millionaire again--sheesh!
Posted: June 25, 2025, 3:45 pm